I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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