After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
