Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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