So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
