Don't make out with my wife yet
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
