So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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