WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
