9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
