Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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