I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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