His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Come on in and take your pants off
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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