I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
