So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
