i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
She even gives head with a lisp.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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