i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
