Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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