Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
