Texts From Last Night

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  (214): View more from Texas

  And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club

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  (214): And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club http://tfl.nu/ni5q
  Replies (19) Good night (1077) Bad night (3484)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes

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  (412): i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes http://tfl.nu/hjgx
  Replies (55) Good night (810) Bad night (5814)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.

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  (612): I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous. http://tfl.nu/oxg9
  Replies (18) Good night (5024) Bad night (721)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  How are you feeling today?

  (330): View more from Ohio

  i could've thrown up on command at any point today...

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  (907): How are you feeling today? (330): i could've thrown up on command at any point today... http://tfl.nu/ewp1
  Replies (10) Good night (1220) Bad night (4663)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?

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  (828): Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom? http://tfl.nu/y1hl
  Replies (26) Good night (1476) Bad night (7976)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.

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  (330): I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies. http://tfl.nu/hccw
  Replies (9) Good night (1141) Bad night (3523)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.

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  (208): Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend. http://tfl.nu/hn01
  Replies (5) Good night (2671) Bad night (814)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  what are we doing this weekend?

  (1-708): View more from Illinois

  I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.

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  (708): what are we doing this weekend? (1-708): I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store. http://tfl.nu/uvwp
  Replies (5) Good night (2166) Bad night (1274)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?

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  (218): At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me? http://tfl.nu/x27k
  Replies (3) Good night (1223) Bad night (626)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head

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  (412): I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head http://tfl.nu/38tu
  Replies (3) Good night (1488) Bad night (653)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?

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  (778): they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date? http://tfl.nu/4653
  Replies (1) Good night (558) Bad night (940)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.

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  (401): also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part. http://tfl.nu/nmg6
  Replies (9) Good night (756) Bad night (400)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.

  (315): View more from New York

  That's the best compliment I have ever received.

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  (813): It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina. (315): That's the best compliment I have ever received. http://tfl.nu/0q70
  Replies (5) Good night (2078) Bad night (486)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.

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  (330): The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though. http://tfl.nu/97ky
  Replies (2) Good night (883) Bad night (781)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out

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  (716): I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out http://tfl.nu/6y6k
  Replies (0) Good night (448) Bad night (290)

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