i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.