Texts From Last Night

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  (334): View more from Alabama

  babies were throwing up all over the place

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  (334): babies were throwing up all over the place http://tfl.nu/onjb
  Replies (10) Good night (581) Bad night (2588)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery

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  (254): When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery http://tfl.nu/move
  Replies (17) Good night (4499) Bad night (525)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes

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  (618): Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes http://tfl.nu/lxst
  Replies (12) Good night (521) Bad night (3952)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out

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  (504): i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out http://tfl.nu/wsgl
  Replies (65) Good night (1583) Bad night (4528)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...

  (480): View more from Arizona

  exactly, that's why i want something interesting

  (512): View more from Texas

  slutty neuroscientist?

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  (512): halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc... (480): exactly, that's why i want something interesting (512): slutty neuroscientist? http://tfl.nu/zg01
  Replies (35) Good night (5178) Bad night (649)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me

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  (647): after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me http://tfl.nu/6bhb
  Replies (13) Good night (3698) Bad night (1250)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.

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  (712): I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house. http://tfl.nu/f9eu
  Replies (28) Good night (676) Bad night (3604)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.

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  (775): At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town. http://tfl.nu/0gi3
  Replies (17) Good night (4209) Bad night (817)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"

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  (570): How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks" http://tfl.nu/r0yt
  Replies (26) Good night (6454) Bad night (944)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.

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  (954): You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks. http://tfl.nu/e9kk
  Replies (15) Good night (962) Bad night (5731)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?

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  (941): Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass? http://tfl.nu/sdtw
  Replies (4) Good night (1772) Bad night (632)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  He was uncircumcised

  (480): View more from Arizona

  It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis

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  (480): He was uncircumcised (480): It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis http://tfl.nu/js6u
  Replies (15) Good night (1156) Bad night (1425)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.

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  (336): He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it. http://tfl.nu/p4ei
  Replies (6) Good night (795) Bad night (904)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.

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  (337): Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE. http://tfl.nu/9lhc
  Replies (7) Good night (2848) Bad night (611)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.

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  (780): The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn. http://tfl.nu/zubn
  Replies (3) Good night (1365) Bad night (279)

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