Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS