If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Randomize
