Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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