I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
