So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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