I love black thongs
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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