Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize