Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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