yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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