It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
