I accidentally burped into my bong.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
