I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I think my moral compass just broke
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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