i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
