If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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