I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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