ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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