everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
