oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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