Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
