he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
