so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
