I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
