And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
