I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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