her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
