READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
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The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
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I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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