Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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