Im at strip club and am horny
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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