Dual....:-)
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Blood and glitter go together right?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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