he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
