i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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