Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
