So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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