I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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