Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
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