I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize