I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
