Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
