Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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