would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Randomize
